THENEXTPRINCE, Chapter 46: Across the Sky Beside You.
The rainstorm at the end of the dry season blew in through the open window, while the sky wasn’t clear and bright with gloomy clouds, and the large drops of rain that fell were no different from the tears of some people.
Someone was lying quietly on the bed, letting time pass by.
Charan lay on the bed, in the satin suit, looking out into the outside world, his voice echoing throughout the sky, but could no longer impact the minds of his listeners.
Charan’s body just responded to everything familiar, conflicting with the inner feelings in his heart. In the young man’s heart, there was no longer any fear of the rain. Because at this moment, the only thing that made him more worried and scared than that was the departure of Khanin…
“If I turn around… Phii Ran, don’t call me Nin… don’t call me by that name.”
The whispering sound of sadness still echoes in their ears, despite the passing of days. He hasn’t lost touch and is still receiving messages that keep him informed of the young one’s well being.
Charan knows well that Khanin is now on the other side of the world, but sometimes he feels as if he can still hear the voice of the other person talking quietly beside him.
In the silence, he hears the sound of a fresh laughter carried by the wind. However, when he turns back, he only finds emptiness, an emptiness that echoes, in this space, Khanin is no longer there.
The scent of love still lingers everywhere, buried in the clothes left behind. In the pillow that Khanin used to support himself with while they slept together.
In the good memories that cannot be erased.
Everything reminds him of the past, making him long for it until it becomes a torment.
Charan pulls the blanket and hugs it, inhaling the faint scent of the person who has gone so far away. He misses the thin lips that used to smile brightly at him.
He misses the obstinate person who never yielded to anyone, the unwavering confidence in the eyes that must turn into sorrow just because they want us both to have time for ourselves. Khanin always looked through things like a transparent glass, even when they were young.
He wants to give him space to deal with the problems that remain, to reflect on the remaining unsettled matters, to release himself from all things.
To handle the things that have been left unfinished, to remind them of the last thing they still cling to, to unleash his own evolution from everything.
Charan didn’t tell anyone where he planned to go. He kept that resolution to himself, began to be quiet like Nin, and waited.
Waiting to meet the cause of everything… the person who has brought bad luck into his life.
“My Lord.”
“….”
“My Lord.”
“Yes.” The voice of Narong called the person on the bed to wake up.
Charan listens before slowly getting up and reaching for his glasses to wear.
The young man who leads the Phitakthewa lineage looks to the trusted butler with a hopeful expectation of good news regarding the case that he had requested from the palace assembly several days ago.
“When the palace contacted back, the issue regarding My Lord requested to visit Dhipabawon is considered a special case, and has been approved already by the assembly.” Narong’s statement was straightforward but it immediately caused discomfort in the bedroom of the young lord.
Narong looked at the still and calm face of the person who had been sitting on the bed for several days. His lord couldn’t eat and couldn’t sleep, feeling low and everything that has been plaguing the young man causing his once sturdy physique to wither. His Lord’s eyes that used to be confident now look weary, and as a butler, Narong knows exactly what caused it.
Although Charan had been waiting for this day to come, the young lord of Narong obviously didn’t want to meet the other party. If he had a choice, there probably wouldn’t be anyone willing to become a victim in this unfortunate event.
The heart of a victim needs comforting and there are many ways to help one deal with the stress of going through such a terrible event. As someone who has been by Charan’s side since he was young, Narong thinks that his lord has gone through almost all of it.
All that’s left is facing the things that caused so much pain head on.
And to those who have had a fiber of relationship and trust… it is difficult to just easily move on without letting go of what’s holding you back.
Therefore, when an order comes directly, Narong quickly tries to handle the matter as fast as he can, but a request sent in must go through multiple inspection processes, and it’s not easy to patiently wait for the outcome.
But ultimately, the destination of waiting has arrived… It is time for Charan to face and confront the burden in his heart.
“If that’s the case… Please prepare a white set for me, Khun Narong.”
Narong paused to receive the order, pondering about the set that the boss will have to wear to visit the convict who was once the most influential one in the country.
At first, the middle aged man intended to meticulously choose the best set for Charan, but the following sentence made Narong change his mind as he instantly understood the intention of the other party.
“Please provide a set that’s not too special.”
“…”
“Because I will only wear it once… and then burn it.”
…
Inside the building for incarcerating convicts, everything is white. The surroundings appear silent, surrounded by a sense of apprehension from humidity and cold temperature due to not having any windows for air circulation.
The first smell defiling the air is a mix of musty odor with a pungent smell of disinfecting alcohol, causing the person walking on the long ramp to have to raise their hand to cover the nose.
Charan halted his footsteps when the guard stopped, the soldiers on duty walked away, before gesturing the welcome hand to step inside. In front of Phitakthewa family’s leader’s lay the deepest prison chamber, a large white door separating people from the outside world and the convicted.
“You only have five minutes for the visit… please go ahead, KhunCharan.”
“Thank you.” Charan expressed his gratitude as the soldier unlocked and opened the door wide. He walked cautiously with bare feet. His eyes scanned around.
Inside this room, everything is white. There is a large area, but there is no device or equipment other than the three foot bed on which an old man is lying still.
Creak!
The sound of closing the door slightly jolted the person lying on the white bed. As soon as he realized someone had come in, seeing a person standing at the end of the bed, his eyes widened in surprise.
“I offer my respects, Your Majesty…” Charan greeted when he saw the awakening gaze of the person lying on the white bed. At this time, Dhipabawon no longer has any capabilities to communicate other than moving his eyes, so the young man had to approach him more closely to convey what he had prepared to say to the other side today.
“…”
“I won’t take long. I came here to answer the question that your Majesty asked me before the competition, about whether I will choose love with Khanin and continue to stay here as a Phitakthewa, or if I will want to be free and leave everything behind.” The young man looked at the person on the bed who blinked frequently in response, indicating that the opposite party still remembers everything.
“…”
“Can you remember, Your Majesty… the question you asked me before the competition, whether to choose between love for Khanin and staying here as Phitakthewa, or to be free and leave everything behind?” The young man looked at the person on the bed, whose blinking eyes indicated that they remembered everything just as well.
Memories went back to the day when they were urgently summoned after admitting their love for Khanin for the first time. Charan also remembered sweating profusely while talking to Dhipabawon. At that time, the anxiety, discomfort, and pressure were so overwhelming that he couldn’t even speak the truth to Khanin.
That was because he feared that the person he loved would worry too much.
“I never intended to force you, but he wanted you to be aware that… Khanin cannot abandon Atsawathewathin. He has to, as the heir to the family… and if that is the case… your decision to stay here also means you cannot abandon Phitakthewa.”
“…”
“I never wanted to hold you back, but this time I must speak to you frankly. If you choose to be with Khanin, you must stand firm and not leave Phitakthewa behind. But if you choose to leave, you must leave everything here.”
“…”
“You don’t need to make a decision yet, Charan. We still have plenty of time until the competition is over, but whenever you choose, you must accept the consequences that will follow.”
Love, and freedom.
You cannot maintain both. Because he is Charan Phitakthewa, a loyal dog that everyone has always trusted to protect, take care of, and honestly love and serve Atsawathewathin.
Charan often asked himself why his love for Khanin had to be related to Atsawathewathin. He never understood why Dhipabawon had to try to bind them, even though the other side promised to understand and support him as one of his grandchildren.
The actions of the old man made Charan ask himself whether he had ever had the power to make decisions on his own in various matters. But from everything he learned, the young man was confident that he had never had the power to decide anything.
Everything is just an illusion.
When reality hits, Charan realized that he was just a representative of his mother in the atonement ceremony, so that Dhipabawon did not feel too guilty.
Charan was just a pawn on the board where the other side would use any means to protect the throne. He was just a variable to help keep the power stable, to prevent Khanin from fleeing elsewhere.
Charan Phitakthewa had never really experienced true love and sincerity.
Throughout all the time that has passed, he has never been recognized as a human being in Dhipabawon’s eyes, even for a moment.
“You knew very well that I dare not disobey your order because I had no way of being ungrateful to the person who raised me.”
“…”
“You know very well that the bond between me and Khanin will keep me from going anywhere.”
“…”
“You knew what the answer would be, but you still asked me what to choose. Your Majesty, you used my feelings to your advantage many times.” The old man’s eyes looked at the figure of Charan with a piercing gaze. Although he couldn’t move his body, the gaze of the royal court, which looked back, turned gray.
“Ugh…” The groaning from the person on the bed made Charan feel like there was a lump in his throat, and the tightness felt like something was about to explode. The difficulty in communicating and the sound of strained breaths only brought Charan back to the time of excruciating pain that had passed.
The pain that Khanin had to endure was immeasurable, how much more would that child have to suffer, who would be accused of being the cause of everyone’s death.
In truth… everything was caused by the greed of this single person.
“Therefore, I came here to give Your Majesty an answer… so that there will no longer be any outstanding issues.” said Charan as he took a deep breath, straightened his posture, and looked down at the other person.
“…”
“Today, I have learned what to choose.”
“…”
“What I choose to leave behind… is you, Your Majesty.” Charan was confident that the pain that had haunted him for almost thirty years, the agony that had held him captive in obscurity, would now reach the heart of the other person. The young man conveyed his emotions through his eyes, and a tear fell on his cheek, his face flushed and his lips quivered.
Dhipabawon’s wide red eyes widened, his eyelids expanded, and it took almost a minute for his withered eyes to slowly open and close slowly. His eyelashes were wet with tears even though he couldn’t speak, but just by looking at him Charan knew what he wanted to say.
It was an apology.
A true apology from the person Charan had once respected and revered, the person whom he had given everything to without conditions, the person whom he had idolized before he realized that what he received was just an illusion.
However, Charan did not come here to seek forgiveness from anyone…
He came here to unlock his own emotions, so he could no longer hold onto that apology.
Charan declined Dhipabawon’s apology through sign language and stepped back from the bed. He raised his hand to his left shoulder and bowed his head in respect, according to the tradition of paying homage to Emmaly.
“Time has run out, Your Majesty. I bid them farewell.”
“…”
“May Your Majesty live long and prosper.” said the young man as he followed the protocol of bowing and paying homage before leaving the person of noble birth to stand tall.
Usually, the meaning of those words was straightforward, every time Charan had said it to Dhipabawon, he was hoping that the other party would live a long life under the shade of a tree as a person of gratitude and honor.
This time, however, the meaning of those words was different.
The young man wanted the other party to live a long life.
“…”
“So that you can stay with this misery forever, Your Majesty.”
…
The atmosphere inside the former house where Khanin had lived since childhood was still infused with warmth, just like when Khanin sat down at the dining table and looked up at his father with his messy hair and somewhat lost eyes. Even that person who was absorbed in front of the stove turned to greet him.
The clock on the wall showed that it was already ten o’clock. Khanin woke up late today because he had been in a state of chaos yesterday with cleaning and sorting out things, walking into the dining room and sitting down at the table with his hands on his chin like that. Even the person who was absorbed in front of the stove turned to greet him.
“Did you sleep well last night?”
“Yes. I think it was the best night of sleep I have had in months.” The young man drew a smile on his face, but the words he spoke were a complete lie.
Khanin couldn’t sleep, he was thinking about Charan, but he couldn’t do anything except let himself dwell on that thought.
Even though he got up to listen to music, do activities he enjoyed, and kill time, the feeling of missing Charan lingered and never subsided.
“I too hope my son sleeps well for real.” The middle aged man spoke as if he knew. Tanattai placed an English style breakfast plate in front of them. Before Khanin turned to grab a glass of fresh milk from the fridge to have with it.
“Well it’s your favorite… a simple menu that you like to eat.”
“I missed your cooking skills.”
Biting into bread, speaking without needing to sit together and coordinate words, actually, bread tastes normal, what makes Khanin think back is probably the atmosphere that has been gone for a long time.
“Are you going out today?” A cup of black coffee and a slice of bread is Tanattai’s choice. The middle aged man took off his stained clothes before sitting down at the usual table to drink coffee.
“I am meeting Paul at the park.” It’s been three days since Khanin returned here. Paul was chatting with him every day since the first day he arrived.
But the problem was that he traveled to another city on weekends with his family, just returned to London today, so they made an appointment.
“Good, go out and get some fresh air.” Tanattai asked because he intended to suggest ideas for the boy to go out and do other activities, go out of the house a bit, mainly to hopefully reduce Khanin’s melancholy gaze.
Tanattai looked out, still aware that his son was feeling something. Khanin loved Charan very much. Because he loved so much that he allowed that path to have the freedom to make decisions.
Khanin used the fork to prick the sausage into his mouth, chewing slowly, old memories rushed back into his mind. Before, he used to argue with his dad often about food.
Because Tanattai likes to force him to eat something difficult so even though he is good at eating Western food, his father often lets him practice eating menus that take time to eat, such as Khao-Soi…
The hand that was about to send the last piece of crispy bacon to his mouth stopped, Khao-Soi used to be a menu item that Khanin hated very much, but when he went to Emmaly’s, he tried to find something to eat. The important thing was that it made him think of his dad.
But now, thinking of Khao-Soi, it also led him to think of someone’s face who used to spend time eating Khao-Soi with him at Jirat’s homestay with beef soup…
“What do you want to eat for dinner?” This question arose when Khanin lifted his hot fresh milk for a sip, as fast as his thoughts, faster than his brain’s processing or ordering, the young man blurted out the menu that was stuck in his mind and asked Tanattai to pout.
“Khao-Soi with beef soup.”
“Nin? You usually don’t like Khao-Soi.”
“I want to eat it later… I’ll go first, Dad.” Summarizing the conversation to end it. Khanin knew that his longing was working hard in his mind. He knew everything well but didn’t have any thoughts that would prevent himself even a little.
The young man allowed himself to feel completely. In space that wouldn’t take a step into Charan’s life.
The cold outside made him clasp his shirt to his body, the person with royal bloodline took steps along the walkway. Khanin typed a reply message to Paul that he was on his way, he would arrive at the public park in a few minutes, while also switching to chat with the person who owns the territory both in mind and heart.
The last message was from Khanin during the evening, reporting where he would go and what he’ll do today. Meanwhile, Charan said that he went to sleep several hours ago.
The warm breath sprayed out into the cool air, causing the slender figure to reach for the mobile phone and put it away. Khanin tucked his hand into his shirt pocket, and strolled through the park amid the cool breeze and bustle of people at noon.
Khanin didn’t rush, he walked leisurely while looking at the surroundings, immersed in the gentle aroma of leaves and grass that wafted along the wind of ordinary life, making him feel a strange tingling in his chest. Khanin smiled as he recalled the events of the past few months.
Having a guardian to take care of the surroundings, holding high ranking positions, and even Charan… everything seemed like a dream.
Khanin felt as if he had fallen asleep with a very long dream, much of which were periods of grief and periods of happiness… but he could never forget.
“Hey!” greeted the person who had been waiting, causing Khanin to turn and look, and a golden head friend walked into his sight, before plunging into an embrace.
“How are you?” Khanin returned the greeting with a hug. Although he didn’t seem to have changed much, perhaps his hairstyle looked a bit strange, but in general, he was still an energy rich person.
“I have to ask you. When I heard the news, I was very surprised. I went to bed, and when I woke up, a friend became a Prince, saying that he was going abroad for a while, and then suddenly became a Heir Apparent.”
“The story is long.”
“You are so mean that you haven’t contacted me.” He cut off his voice, but didn’t really seem to be too serious about anything. He seemed more like he just wanted to complain for others to listen, but how much he really wanted to know was unclear.
“For safety, not mine, but yours.” This may be one of the reasons why Khanin has been able to become friends with Paul for a long time.
The advantage of the other side is that Paul is not the type who likes to be silent about things that he can’t confide in. It seems that this person is more likely to ask questions to show concern.
“Is everything okay now?”
Khanin did not respond in a full voice as they walked and talked along the riverside, chatting about trivial matters before stopping at a brown water bench.
“Hey, and what about that handsome guy? How’s he doing?” After exchanging stories about their lives together, Paul brought up a new topic that made Khanin pause for a moment.
“Just… as handsome as before.”
“Huh. Well, nevermind, what… What kind of person is he? As if he’s not really there.” For a split second, Paul seemed a little confused with the answer, but then burst into laughter and nodded in agreement.
“…”
“…” Khanin smiled lightly, not knowing if he unintentionally revealed his face, but then realized that his friend was getting up, turning to look at each other earnestly.
“Hey, do you want to eat ice cream? Let me buy it for you, consider it as a treat for your back.” He pointed to a nearby ice cream shop.
Khanin looked at the place before answering, “Uh, sure.”
“What kind of ice cream do you want, orange?” Paul’s question made Khanin ponder, his slender frame re emerging with heightened memories of specific moments.
“Orange ice cream?”
“Next time, let’s try the flavored ice cream.”
“Huh?”
“I prefer eating orange flavored ice cream over coffee.”
“I will remember that.”
With a light smile on his lips, it was true that Khanin liked orange flavored ice cream, but in the end, he decided to choose the taste that he missed more than his personal preference.
“I’ll take coffee flavor, thanks.”
Because Khanin hoped that at least these small actions would help alleviate his longing for Charan, whether by a little or by a lot…
…
The warmth from the heater made the atmosphere inside Khanin’s bedroom cozy. It had been several hours since the sun had set and he was getting ready to rest.
From noon until afternoon, Khanin spent most of his time with his close friend Paul, before returning to have dinner with his father.
The beef ball noodle soup recipe by Tanattai tasted good, but it still differed slightly from the homemade cooking of Jirat. During the mealtime, Khanin spent the time talking with his father, calling Tarin, and ending with Chakri, the young butler who always sounded upset whenever he called.
His slender figure laying down on the bed, he stared at the chat screen that still hadn’t received a reply from his crush. Charan had been missing since his last message several hours ago.
It was already 3 a.m. in England. It was evening… Charan should have woken up a while ago, but why hadn’t he messaged yet?
Khanin thought that Charan was probably busy and might be overwhelmed with his workload, but why… couldn’t he spare a little time to reply?
Phii Ran had never disappeared like this before.
His cute face looked sad. Khanin seemed like someone who had both a good and a bad side who were constantly fighting. One side wanted to send a message to his crush, while the other side didn’t think it was necessary.
His slender figure walked back and forth in the bedroom to pass the time. He went in to read the group chat messages containing both Ramil and Evaa, talked, but the two of them weren’t as cheerful as usual. Khanin felt that his physical and mental energy were negative, the atmosphere was even colder outside, despite having a heater that added warmth.
The clock on the headboard showed it was already four o’clock. Khanin took a deep breath before lying down on the bed. He decided to send a message to Charan that he missed him, but in the end, there was no response like before.
Khanin made a sad face, looking at his mobile phone screen before laying it on his chest and staring at the ceiling for a moment. He suddenly shook as he received a call from a video call with a name that he didn’t expect, not the one he had in his heart, but rather a call from the new young leader of the Puchongpisut family.
“What’s up?”
[What is it?] His charming face still looked annoyed and agitated as before.
Khanin raised his eyebrows, while Ramil glanced over suspiciously.
“What?”
[Looking like this, you must miss Charan so much.]
Despite his tough appearance and defiant mouth, Khanin wasn’t in the mood to engage in conversation this time.
“Sigh.” The resigned posture led to another side of the phone falling silent for a moment. Ramil took a deep breath, no longer having fun and instead spoke seriously.
[If you miss him, just call him.]
“…”
[Will you want me to do it for you?]
“How embarrassing.” The younger cousin’s volunteer behavior called for Khanin to turn his gaze back, the fair skinned owner of the house raised his eyebrows before tilting his neck to ask with suspicion.
[Just send someone to fetch him.]
“Did you really use this tactic on him all the time?” The listener frowned and made strange reactions of disgust which created a frustrating reaction from Ramil.
[…]
“Don’t tell me…” Because of the look that Ramil kept glancing at the camera. Khanin could guess that it was his turn to look wrong and retrieve his face back from the other side.
[Shut up, Khana] the voice that was used to teasing him became quieter and clearer.
Khanin narrowed his eyes, imitating the posture of Ramil when the teacher gave an order.
“Let me see behind the camera, Rameng.”
[So troublesome.] Despite all the cursing, he finally acquiesced and turned back to the camera to show the only son of the Minister of Agriculture, who was asleep on the bed of the high ranking young man.
To this extent, even looking from Mars would know that he liked him… It was just that he was too straightforward.
“Should I send someone to fetch him?”
[I’ll go get him myself… Take care of yourself, don’t worry about everything.] The camera turned back to show the sulky appearance of Ramil, and the other side gave a low voice that made Khanin have to take a deep breath.
“Like this, when will he know…”
[Take care of yourself, okay. Did you just call and complain or something?]
“If you just act normal… be careful not to lose him.” Khanin warned from his heart, a moment of seeing a tremble in the sharp eyes of Ramil, but that thing happened just for a split second before it disappeared.
“No need… How about I wait?” Someone insisted on changing the subject.
Ramil volunteered. As for Khanin, he simply ignored the proposal.
“No need… I’ll wait.”
[Just waiting won’t lead to anything. Call him.]
“No, I don’t want to bother him.” The English speaker’s response made the other side of the phone screen frown. Ramil took a deep breath and cursed before thinking about how to respond.
[You are really complicated, Khana.]
“You litt-…” Khanin was planning to shout back, but something came up, and suddenly Ramil became restless in his seat. Ramil, as he quickly whispered something and Khanin, who was able to connect the dots and figure out the situation for himself.
[Petai will wake up…for now. If there’s anything else you need, just contact me.] Ramil summarized abruptly.
Khanin replied with a throaty voice in his throat, before the screen and the sound of the cousin faded away, quite certain that he had never heard them use that word with anyone else before.
“…just go to sleep, I am okay.” he said to himself.
The call disconnected, and Khanin’s phone screen returned to Charan’s chat room as usual. This person hadn’t read or responded yet, so finally Khanin mustered the courage to press the phone icon and call out.
The ringing sounded loud, and the handsome young man’s lips trembled as he waited for someone to answer, until the call went silent, and everything around him returned to silence. He looked down at his English lettered bracelet and sighed.
“Destiny is far away but meet anyway.”
Destiny…no matter how far apart on different sides across the sky, they had to meet again.
The more he saw, the more he felt, the more he thought, the more he was tormented.
Khanin wanted to scream, he took himself to sneak under the blanket before letting tears trickle down slowly, both thinking and fearing that if Charan didn’t want to continue with him, what would he do?
Could he really be good at it? Like saying that he would agree to let Charan go, could he really do it?
Tears flowed down, Khanin allowed himself to be overwhelmed by emotions, he cried until his eyes unwittingly closed since he wasn’t sure when.
However, the feeling of someone else’s heavy footsteps in the hallway made Khanin suddenly awaken among the nerve wracking touch he felt in his body.
He listened closely and was quite confident that it was not Tanattai’s footsteps since it was around two o’clock.
Were there other people in this house…?
Blood froze instantly, as fast as thought. Khanin lowered himself down from the wide bed and tiptoed to hide behind the door, like that…
Until someone opened the door with a key. Khanin had been waiting for the opportunity and then jumped in, locking the intruder down, but the other responded quickly.
Khanin was quickly overthrown once again as the world spun, and he tried to wriggle out, but just one sentence from the other side, it was enough to make everything disappear completely.
“Nin…it’s me, okay”.”
Khanin opened his eyes widely, hearing the sound, the scent he was familiar with. His deep brown eyes looked deeply into the charming face of his intruder. The latter didn’t flinch, until it stood still again as the curtain of its eyes closed and sealed the smile that his body longed for.
“Phii Ran? I am not dreaming right?” Some confirmed the truth with a warm touch on the dark side.
Khanin was afraid that this might just be a dream, he was afraid that if he woke up…everything that seemed real right now would be shattered.
“It’s not a dream…I came for you, Nin.” Some confirmed the reality with a warm touch on the dark side.
Khanin released Charan’s hug, and minutes passed before they looked at each other.
Fingers rubbed against warm cheeks, and the disheveled face looked like someone who hadn’t slept for days. Khanin couldn’t help but feel concerned for his loved one.
The warmth of his breath confirmed that this wasn’t a dream.
Phii Ran came here… to find him.
Tears of joy flowed down, and the longing that had been suppressed was expressed through vulnerability. Khanin hugged the person in front of him with all his love, and this time the young man buried his face in the older man’s chest, rubbing it and crying without shame like a child.
“You disappeared…all day, gone to the point where I thought you didn’t want to talk to me anymore…[sobbing].” Khanin never spoke of his fears to anyone, but they brewed in his heart, his small hand firmly clutching the taller man’s shirt showing the need for this person not to disappear again.
“I’m sorry…I’m sorry.” Charan hugged him tightly in response, knowing full well how much Khanin’s life was fraught with such moments of loss.
How would life go on without the sun?
Without the guiding light, Charan was just a foolish tree waiting for death.
“…”
“The reason I disappeared was that I was on a plane, and also…Tanattai said you were staying with Paul and didn’t want to be disturbed. I wanted you to spend time with your friends, while I hurriedly cleared up everything on my work schedule.” Charan wanted his younger companion to know that he wasn’t at peace and didn’t want to be gone for long.
It may sound exaggerated to say, but the moment Khanin turned away, Charan knew deep down that this wasn’t what he wanted.
But because the issue they faced was heavy and weighed down by duty and family burdens, the young man couldn’t act on his feelings right away.
“At least try to make contact, do you know that I…mmmhpf.” Before he could finish his sentence, the bigger guy managed to pile them both onto the large, soft bed.
His warm hand reached out to hold both of their hands, and then he drew them towards his cheeks and used a gaze that left hearts trembling.
“I wanted to surprise you, Nin.” Charan kissed the small hand. His narrowed eyes met with the younger man’s sensitivity as he spoke, telling him what he felt inside his heart. “I miss you.”
The warm feeling returned to surround both of their bodies again. Khanin no longer needed to resist, as long as they were together. Charan wanted the other to experience the feelings he wanted to feel, to do what he wanted to do, without having to deceive himself or having to do things for anyone else.
Khanin didn’t need to be strong anymore, as long as they were together. Charan wanted his younger companion to feel the way he wanted to, to do what he wanted to do, without fear of deceit or obligation to anyone else.
He just waited… until the other side stopped crying in the midst of London’s thick, eerie air, while the moonlight shone through the window and reflected in their close collaborating eyes.
“I have fixed everything in Emmaly, it won’t disappear anymore.” Charan came out whispering some words not much different from a promise, after letting the loved one express their emotions until the other side’s face brightened up.
“Really?”
“Yes, I won’t go far away from you anymore… I don’t eat much without you, just keep thinking about you.” Charan’s expressions and everything else appeared clear as day.
I don’t eat much either… I was just thinking about the time we spent together.”
“…”
“Before everything happened… I had a list of places to travel to and eat at. Because I thought you would come with me, Phii Ran.” The end of the sentence shivered with a story. Khanin recalled his newly opened restaurant list, as well as the travel plans they used to talk about, before they had to separate due to a terrible event.
“If that’s the case, let’s go to every restaurant you want, go wherever you want, travel together like we used to talk about, right?”
“Will you have time, Phii Ran?” Khanin asked suspiciously. He thought
Charan still had a lot of work to do, so he didn’t dare to be too happy yet.
“I have time… I’ve resigned from my position as the head of the family. I’m a freelancer now… wherever I want to go, I’ll go. If Nin you are with me.”
“Resigned?” Khanin widened his eyes, accidentally speaking out loud with surprise. He didn’t think what Charan said about fixing everything would end up as him resigning or giving up his position.
“Yes.” The older one smiled before starting to explain for the loved one to understand, “Actually, I didn’t want to be in this position from the beginning. I thought I would only stay for a short time.”
The final task assigned was to bring the young Young Prince of Atsawathewathin back to the base…
“…”
“The Sovereign King promised to let me retire and paint full time if I completed the mission, but once I did, I couldn’t leave… because someone asked me to stay. He said if I wanted him to join the competition I should stick around. I was thinking it would end there, but no, that person needed me to be with him, to be responsible for him… because I brought him to Emmaly.”
At that time, I didn’t have anyone else.” Khanin chuckled, his two layered eyes avoiding contact as he whispered, tucking some soft hair behind his small ear with an affectionate look towards Charan.
“Yes… he said he didn’t have anyone else and that I was the only important person in his life at that time. So, I decided to stay because that person was as important to me as I was to him.”
“…”
“He made me a better person, made me smile more, happier, no more nightmares, not alone when it rains, nothing to be afraid of when he’s there with me… but he’s not there anymore, so there’s no need to stay.” Charan explained at length. He fell silent when he saw the young one’s face looking like he wanted to ask something.
“And what grandfather did… are you not angry?” Khanin avoided talking about it in detail, fidgeting, not even daring to look up at the tall figure.
“Am I angry… disappointed and sad?” Charan’s face reflected reality, with the other person’s eyes dimming sadly when he had to talk about himself, trying to persuade him to forget about it.
“And, do you still want to be with me…?” Khanin asked with a trembling voice, his cute face dropping with his chin almost touching his chest, a mass of sadness spreading, and his demeanor showing heavy concern.
“Listen to me, Nin.”
“…”
“Nin, you are not at fault, you did nothing wrong from the start, I admit that I didn’t handle my own feelings at first, but when we were apart, I realized how much it hurt not having you around, and I asked myself if I still wanted to be with you… and the only answer in my heart was yes, I want to be with you, forever and always.”
“…”
Even though I won’t forgive the person who hurt my mother, I’ve decided that I’ll stay in the present… I don’t want to lose you, Nin.” Charan reviewed and discovered that where one lived in the world was not essential, comparable to having Khanin by his side.
The most important thing in the young man’s life now was not having a good reputation and living for someone else; the only thing he wanted from now on was Khanin, a simple person who was the only one in this world.
“Phii Ran…”
“Nin you are the present and future, everything in my life… I love you, Nin.” Charan met Khanin’s eyes, expressing his heartfelt sentiments, and all of it held back tears.
“I love you too, as much as possible. I… Nin don’t want to lose you Phii either.”
“I am not going anywhere… we’ll be together.”
“Aww, together forever.” Khanin smiled through his tears, the first genuine smile in many days.
“Yes, together forever… I promise.”
…
The swordsmanship association was not as crowded in the evening as it was during the day. Only a few people were practicing in the field, some were watching their friends compete, and some were practicing alone.
Khanin took his loved one to another room, not wanting anyone to interfere with his competition against Charan for this time.
After Charan came to see him last night, the two of them spent time together and chatted to understand each other better, each side taking turns to talk about what they had been doing for the last few days.
They spent the whole night together in their room before finally deciding to take a walk around. It was Khanin who suggested they come here.
This was the first time they had met at the swordsmanship association.
Charan took Khanin to the same place he used to watch him from when he first came here and talked about the feeling he had at that time of seeing Khanin’s face, and how he felt like Khanin was a quick witted person.
And of course, Khanin felt just as nervous.
Both sides were lost in thought, talking and enjoying watching others play sports until time passed for several hours. They agreed on almost everything, but couldn’t come to a conclusion when it came to dinner.
From being a spectator to becoming a player, the sword game began when both sides refused to offer what they wanted to eat based on their own desires. Khanin suggested that Charan come forward to fight him to sort out a way out for everyone to get a choice based on their desires.
The condition was that each person had to offer a different menu, and the loser had to agree to eat what the winner proposed. However, Charan kept playing poorly on purpose, which isn’t really losing on purpose. What should we call this?
“Eung-Ang… how will you win if you keep playing like this?” Khanin teased, removing his metal mask before walking over to the other side that had just smiled and shouted words.
“I wasn’t planning to win anyway.”
“But that’s not fair… we agreed to eat what the winner wanted. Why are we competing if you’re just going to agree to lose to me?”
“Are you not satisfied that I agreed to lose?” Charan chuckled as he hugged the chest heaving in laughter, removed his metal mask and gloves, then reached out to hold the white hand together, leading the other side to the corner of the room.
“Yes.” Khanin murmured when he heard the young man ask for his beloved’s help with removing his body armor in a gentle and caring manner, which Charan duly obliged with tenderness and care.
“So, how do you feel satisfied?”
The tall figure asked softly after removing the lightweight armor for Khanin, his handsome face smiled and looked amusingly at the person who refused to accept defeat.
“Are we going to compete again?”
“I don’t want to compete anymore, if I do, you’ll just stubbornly lose… I want to take you to eat something that I’m stubbornly craving for more.”
“So you bait me with food then, if I gain weight later, I won’t walk, I’ll just ride on your back going everywhere, and if your back breaks, I’ll take care of it.” Khanin laughed as the younger hugged his chest and turned to hide his face.
“Are you sulking?”
“Yes, I am.”
Charan chuckled when he heard that, looking around confidently thinking there was no one else in the room except for him and Khanin, the young man decided to turn the younger one around to look in his eyes.
Khanin quickly followed his gaze and looked straight ahead. When he saw the other person’s face tense, Charan remembered the first time he clashed lips, the white one was so cute and seemed to… he just can’t help teasing him now.
“I apologize for making you angry, Your Majesty but I flew across the sky with a purpose being you.”
Charan said with words he once used with the other side before, and he remembered specifically that on that day, he spoke because he wanted the other side to think about the role of Young Prince of Atsawathenin.
On that day, Khanin was just as stubborn as he is now.
“…”
“Don’t sulk for too long… the next time, no matter when, I will be willing to give in again. Because I never thought I could defeat you.” But today is not like yesterday anymore. He spoke simply because he wanted to tease someone he loved to be in a good mood and wanted him to understand the main purpose of his coming back to be together, more clearly.”
“…”
“Between us, this is a love story… I hope the prince will understand…”
“Phii Ran…” The younger one put his hands on the older man’s neck, tense and not knowing what to do when he heard Charan’s words, then suddenly burst out laughing. Khanin also laughed out loud. He didn’t expect Charan to play like this right now, it was cute but…
“Why?”
“It’s very cheesy.” the young man whispered teasingly, causing Khanin’s eyes to widen with laughter.
Charan did the same thing, the laughter of the two mingled together.
Charan pulled the smaller person closer and asked back with a chuckle.
“Don’t you like it? I thought you would.”
“Someone like you… I like everything about you.”
The sweet sentence answered back, calling for a smile from the listener. Charan raised his eyebrows and asked himself a question whose answer he already knew.
“Do you just like it?”
“Oh, love, the greatest love of all.” The sweet whisper was not far from the hope that Charan should find something. Khanin is so lovable, so lovable that Charan thinks he should find something.
The young man moved closer to the white person until there was almost no space left for the air to pass through. The surrounding atmosphere was silent after a warm conversation.
The eyes met each other with love, and the chilly air outside filled the space, but it could not make them feel cold anymore.
Because at this moment, their warm breaths were exchanged in harmony, shared from one person to another…
The warm lips moved closer to each other, kissed with passion, the soft touch from Khanin was the only thing that helped ease the journey.
Charan knew he had made the right decision.
Khanin is the only reason for him to continue living.
Previously, Charan had babbled about the cruel fate that took away the people he loved, but now he has made a vow with the person above.
If the gods chooses not to take his loved one at this time. Charan promised not to think or talk about the terrible past anymore or blame the gods. From now on, he will live to protect, take care of, and love Khanin with all his heart.
He will never let anyone extinguish or destroy his sun.
No more Phitakthewa, no more Atsawathewathin.
Charan will love and accompany Khanin until they cross the sky together.
Across the sky Beside You.
END.
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